Let me preface this by saying that I have the utmost respect and sympathy for those of us nearing the end of their journey and I appreciate that they’ve spent their precious final moments trying to help others. I can’t begin to understand their unique perspective on life but… having said that, I’m calling bullshit on most advice from the dying.

If you know me, you’ll get what I mean. If you don’t know me, I expect you want to @ me with a whole bunch of WTF?

I’m all for “tell your loved ones that you love them as often as possible,” and “be grateful for your health” but when it comes to “just let it go” or “don’t stress over a bad haircut” or defining a problem as “trivial” here’s the thing:

We all have challenges in life, we have extreme highs and profound lows. But what about the in-betweens?

What if I want to truly feel sad about something before I miraculously “let it go?” (What does that mean anyway? Ignore it? Suppress my feelings? Pretend?)

Why shouldn’t I be upset over a bad haircut? Why does someone else get to judge that your bad haircut is trivial?

Leaning into the full gamut of emotions is part of the human experience. We’re not perfect. We get angry, we react to bad experiences and we don’t go about our day thinking of our inevitable death and how this “trivial” thing won’t matter in the end. We’re constantly being reminded to be present, appreciate your surroundings, live in the moment.

Well, sometimes the moment sucks.

And that’s ok. Even if you’re not dying. We are not meant to evaluate every emotion only in comparison to actually dying.

Why are we so uncomfortable about being uncomfortable?

Feel your feelings.

Buy the thing (if the thing makes you happy.)

Be ok with being annoyed at the chip in your brand new manicure.

And for fuck sake, please stop listening to anyone that says you don’t get to be worried about something simply because others “have it worse.” This is not the goddamn Tragedy Olympics. Your problem is valid. Your worry is valid.

Yeah, it may not matter in the end but you are alive now.

You are human now.