Icebreakers. An introverts worst nightmare. But if I had to choose a question, my choice would be easy, as would the answer:

If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Invisibility.

The power to move through the world observing with minimal interaction. Absorbing uninterrupted. Experiencing unnoticed.

It’s difficult enough to get noticed in this chaotic world even while screaming at the top of your lungs, nevermind if getting noticed is literally the last thing you want. You can plan, and market, and advertise, and network, and do all the right things to make your mark on the world but if your soul isn’t in it, all that will happen is you trudging through the motions while your ego and soul battle for your very life.

I would choose invisibility and yet I feared it. Feared being no one, nothing, useless in a world that idolizes hustle and noise. So I dove in, got noisy, scrambled and scrambled and scrambled. And then came the anxiety. The panic. The fear. The exhaustion. And then…

the acceptance.

I slammed on the brakes, felt my whole body abruptly stop its forward motion, tended to the broken bits, spoke gently to myself, turned my back and threw my bruised chin in the air to take that first step in another direction. My ego fought back. She tried to make me think that “small” and “less” meant diminished and useless. She kicked and balked and got envious and petty.

I let her have her tantrum. Then I wiped her tears, thanked her for protecting (and motivating) me, and introduced her to my soul. They circled each other for a while, glaring suspiciously, but finally sat down for tea (probable whiskey, truthfully) and came to an understanding. They’re besties now.

We no longer fear invisibility.

I wander the world ignoring vast, majestic landscapes and focusing (literally and figuratively) instead on each tiny blade of grass sparkling in the sun, each tiny mushroom bursting through damp gound. My little camera and I are never more that 13 inches from what inspires me, moves me, breaks my heart wide open.

Forest floors and earth-painted feet and listening to my heartbeat under the water.

Cozy kittens.

Nourishing food and

gentle movement.

Music.

Creating art and words and recipes.

Being.